Free in Doing and Being

[Things] are more likely to change once you no longer "need" them to. --Scott Noelle

I did a post about six months ago on something serendipitously named Immersion. For me the process of actually unschooling has been and continues to be very like learning a language. Dive in and do it. This was one of the very first pieces of advice I heard about unschooling. And I might add: do it, mistakes and all.

I spent much time thinking about unschooling, getting annoyed at roadblocks and mistakes, and did a little here and little there. And eventually I had added enough of the principles to make unschooling work that it seems now I'm beginning to get a little more fluent. Amazingly, I'm getting where breathing is easy!

We are not full-fledged unschooling, not enough to satisfy me or any of us really. Brian and I are still working out some kinks. At this point, I know it's just a matter of persistence in trusting one another.

To quote myself: Relating to others in your family might entail lots of interruptions which is hard to think of as *flow*-- but that's what it is ... the ebb and flow in our lives.

Now I'm to the point I don't think of them as interruptions but as necessities, requirements, real needs when my child wants my help or company. When I wrote the above I wasn't as convinced of trusting Karl to that extent. The whole process of doing things with Karl was conflicted and chaotic. Intellectually I was convinced of trusting my child. In reality I wanted to be more trusting.

I am one to yell when things aren't to my liking. It's awful. I knew I didn't want to yell but that knowledge wasn't what helped. What it took was for me to continue to push myself to BE with Karl and awaken my ability to breathe underwater, so to speak. The yelling has subsided on its own, without me having to directly change myself so much or unlearn stuff.

This has been my own personal evolution into a deeper relationship with my child and with my partner too. We are all simply talking these days.

*What* a difference.

It was great to spend more time (than I wanted to at first) and see what Karl was into even more closely than I already had been doing. The view upclose and personal grew which fed my desire to be with him and not miss a minute. I'm sure I will miss a lot, because life is like that and there are true interruptions. Yet I *know* I won't be saying I wish I had missed more. It'll be the other way around.

One of the best payoffs is I'm no longer concerned about my own rights, my own freedoms, etc. I'm not constantly feeling that "HEY, what about me!?" That's such a great freedom right there. See above quote on change when you no longer "need" it to happen. All those things are improving without me worrying over what I can't directly do anything about.

I'm really not unlearning anything as I thought I would need to. Which seems bizarro. I'm used to nothing happening unless I *make* it happen. More old ideas melting away.

My mind is simply experiencing the changes along with my body as I move through trusting more, doing more, living more, and ENJOYING more! And that's how I am slowly but surely convincing myself what makes unschooling work.

By doing it.